Another fucking sunday.

I'm sick of sundays. you just end up pissing them away. I'll post more interesting shit tomorrow, but today.... fuck it.

Esse Quam Videri

Esse Quam Videri

Latin-"To Be, Rather than to Seem"

I, A.C.M., hereby set out to maintain this phrase as my motto for the duration of the following year, and to practice honestly and with conviction the act of making real the many falsities of my life.

Herein this journal, I promise to write candidly and without hyperbole the details of my attempt to do this, for no other purpose but to accurately measure my progress in my endeavors.

I swear to you, all-knowing ephemera of my heart, to hold this oath earnestly.
I promise to be what more what I am than I have been, so that I may be closer to you,
and so that I sleep more soundly, knowing that I have not wasted my hours in your light.


And so, let's begin on a journey of self betterment.
Here I am starting my new year's resolutions after most people have broken theirs, but I wouldn't say it's a foregone fight.

My M.O. is simple. I need only to be what I say I am, and not what I am in practice. Because, if you asked me to tell you about myself, I'd seem like your type of guy. I'd tell you that I was a songwriter, and this much is true. I'd also tell you that I played many instruments, but in reality, I play none of them well. I'd also say that I like to read and write, but honestly, I only read a handful of books each year, and have never committed myself to writing anything more demanding than blogs and brief spurts of unedited and careless poetry. I'd tell you that I love to skateboard, which is true, but you shouldn't believe that this means that I am physically active. In fact, I contributed to those statistics you heard about the rising epidemic of childhood obesity, and I've never made an concerted effort to do anything about it.

These are some of the little lies I tell people to make my life sound more interesting.
I am a practiced liar, and because it is good sport, I take pleasure in it, so you would be forgiven for believing what I tell you (for a while). In reality, however, my life is not interesting, it is boring, and the fault in this facade has run too deep, and too many days have been forgotten entirely for me to go on with my apathy. Though I don't begrudge it, it's time to start climbing out of this cavern before it gets any deeper.

A full list of changes I'm working on will be documented here next week, after which I will update you with my progress, and various multimedia offerings for posterity, which I hope will be entertaining and insightful. I'll attempt to reign in my personal indulgences when fact will suffice, and when it will not, I will try to keep the fare light and palatable.

Until we next meet.
A.C.M.